Being a Single Mom, Shifts in Life, & Other Midnight Oil Thoughts- Kibbutz Hanita, Israel
It’s so late and I can’t believe that now, now, at 23:34 I’m sitting down to write. Somewhere between the third dish of charoset (this sweet apple-nut Passover delight), seven kids screaming as they play zombies in this very room, and my eyelids closing; I’m finally writing. Well, at least, I’ve started to. The truth is I must go load the dishwasher, no, (practicing my mental power of positive, meaningful living), no, no, I want to go load the dishwasher and so, I’m off the computer. But, hey, I wrote my first few lines and I want you to know that I have missed writing and have fallen asleep over the last few weeks with many things to tell you on my mind.
Four and a half weeks, a parenting breakdown and a half, and losing sight of the tendency of where North might be later; I’m back, and still, with oceans to tell you. Waves of insightful, beautiful, desperate, and simple things have come and gone as I’ve fallen asleep, or have not been able to, and in the tossing and turning and listening to the dark, I’ve written essays of literary perfection expressing every pitter patter of my heart. I’ve lost what was real then, what I wanted to find a voice for, for the ocean doesn’t have a memory and it’s long past washed away whatever it was then that wanted to ride to the surface.
Today, I have other truths to share. Truths that also will change by tomorrow, or stay a bit longer, but, likewise, will fade into the next reality.
Today, I’m keen on feeling I am done groping and am finally figuring out how to run my life again, with the tiniest semblance of illusionary control. And, of course, it seems like everyone else around me has figured out how to be Parent-of-the-Year and Mrs.Home-Body and Perfect-Career-Me and I’m stumbling into myself again and again. I’ve had some horrendous parenting days, days in which wisdom and grace were the farthest from my sphere, and yet, last night, as we settled down early for the first day back at school today after a looooong Spring Break, I began to breathe again.
I read to my babies. We’re on page 80 of The Five People You Meet in Heaven. I tucked them in and scratched their backs and felt some warmth and affection and boundaries reenter my hopelessness. I got so lost, so very lost during our Spring Break of too much time out of the house and out of control in terms of going to bed in the wee hours and waking up, somewhat awake, closer to noon than I feel comfortable with. And now, finally, we have a schedule again. We have something external that dictates that our healthy lifestyle again has a time and place, limits and boundaries, and I need that to touch sanity in my life right now.
So, I’ve been there for my Dahnya. “I’ve got your back,” I what’s-upped her, and that is enough to call me proud, grounded, and well. I know my place again for her, and that is supporting her in her journey through bits of her reality that are still scruffy and uncomfortable for her. Today, I’ve done major things that are seemingly minor but symbolize getting a hold of my life again.
1- Bought cat litter, got rid of long-overdue litter, scrubbed container, and filled with new cat litter
2- Bought and put on cat long-overdue flea collar so that Orazi and I can hopefully stop itching and start sleeping at nights
3- Brought in the laundry rack with damp clothing from a week of continuous rain
4- Cleared off my counter (including the stuck-on powdered sugar) and created a work space I can breathe in
5- Changed my sheets (finally) to a clean freshness and a pattern I enjoy
6- Ran a load of long-overdue towels on 95 degrees (that’s like boiling) to get out what I hope to be able to salvage in the towels-from-hell-stinky department
7- Talked to a few people I owed calls to, including reestablishing a relationship with Dahnya’s teacher whom I hadn’t spoken to since before I left for India (over 4 months ago)
8- Made Kitty Cat an appointment for his next booster shots
9- Almost got ready to create the flier I needed to get a Healthy Soul in a Healthy Body course going, but was feeling so depleted and totally hypocritical to even consider teaching such a course in my previous state. I hope tomorrow to be back to me enough to be able to present my light to the world and work out the logistics to get this moving. Teaching does me heaps of good.
And now I’m off for a quick 30 minutes snooze so that I can greet my kids with energy and zeal from their first day back at school.
Speak, loves. Tell me also that sometimes your kids sit and laugh so hard over nothing in particular and fill your heart with love. Tell me sometimes family life sucks beyond comprehension cuz you can’t run away and you have to face whatever it is you are meant to. Tell me your insights on health, life, family, and love. I’m here.
Read the entire Solo Healing Journey Adventure, loves.
And coming back home:
WANNA HELP: SHARE!!!!!!!!!
ABOUT THE NOMADIC FAMILY:
The Nomadic Family of five spent three and a half years settling into small communities in 16 countries world-wide. Now, they are acclimating back into life in Northern Israel and the story continues. Gabi lived alone in India for 3 months this winter, Kobi is going backpacking for 2 months alone this Spring, and the family will spend this summer in Sweden, Latvia, Estonia, and Finland. Follow their adventures as they share their emotional journey, their spiritual growth; their falling apart and coming back together, the real ups and downs, the sticky, painful, colorful, and magical moments of life on the road and back home.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Insanely unorthodox, embarrassingly honest, and on her path towards spiritual awareness, Gabi Klaf blogs about her family’s ups and downs in their now third year of non-stop budget world travel. This family of five has lived with an indigenous tribe in the jungles of Ecuador, hitchhiked throughout the world, danced with drunk Vietnamese at weddings, and hiked the entire Annapurna Circuit trek with a documentary film crew in tow. Gabi writes about the untold sides of family travel life, those moments that take your breath away, adventures and mishaps while globetrotting, and how bits of her soul remain in this small town and off the side of that river. She is a guitar-stumming, energy-healing, ADHD wind-loving scaredy cat. Hugely romantic, tantalizingly sweet, and hysterically funny, Gabi Klaf represents a rare Rubik’s Cube of family world adventure.
JOIN THE INSPIRATION:
We’re out doing crazy stuff and making our dreams come true, every single one of them, and a few more that sort of flew into our mouths while we were smiling into the wind. Should you like what we are doing as a family, BUY AN EBOOK to support us, share this, tell any media source or local newspaper, leave a comment. Your footprint makes all the difference in the world friends. Gracias!
Gabi and Kobi, Dahnya, Orazi, and Solai
And, sweet new news loves: In addition to parenting, family life and trauma therapy, Gabi is now offering Make Your Dreams Come True/We Wanna Travel But.. Coaching too. Engage with Gabi!