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Posted on Dec 24, 2014

Solitary Misery, Insanity, Blessings & Forever Young- After a Week of Treatments, Solo Healing Journey, India

Solitary Misery, Insanity, Blessings & Forever Young- After a Week of Treatments, Solo Healing Journey, India



I come home (again) to my neighbors having guests (again). Really? The nerve of them!

I’m sinking in the quicksand of my dire loneliness, fighting a war to the bitter death with my demons, holding onto fantasies and memories as if they were the last lifesaver for my drowning misery; and they are fraternizing. God! Have a little respect to those mourning around you, people!

They’re so nice, so sweet, so cordial and kind to all, including me. But, damn it, I’m playing monk-in-a-cave, I’m twisting and turning in my own self-inflicted isolation, and you, one paper-thin wall away, and just so happy, happy, so God-damn happy!


Solitary Noise

Now, bless their dear hearts. I do like them. I do. It’s not their fault the Indian landlord built one house, put in one crappy wall and left a huge space between that wall and the roof  and called it now two. It is this that we share. It’s not their fault that I can hear them in the bathroom, everything they watch, all of their conversations, and every intimate detail of their lives. Yes, they can be as social as they like. Of course.

Maybe I’m just jealous. Maybe I wanted this to be my spiritual retreat in a cabin alone in the woods and listening to them watching the news or the game or all the other activities that I don’t want to be a part of, but by default am, crumbles my spiritual seclusion. And, yes, I sometimes play my music a bit too loud. First off, to try and slightly drown out their lives which I don’t want to live and second off, to maybe remind them that if they can hear what I’m doing so distinctly, that maybe, just maybe I can also hear everything that they’re doing. (I’m into subtle hints)



My Monk-in-a-Cave Thing

I hadn’t left the house in almost thirty hours, and after the incense, and the reading, the bonding with the cow I (unsuccessfully) tried to cuddle with, and the quiet contemplation of the ants, how ginger boils like that, and when in my life will I ever fully release my addiction to pain; I freaked. F-R-E-A-K-E-D! I ate every conceivable thing I could find, in every disgusting combination. My raw food/sugar-free diet went to total hell somewhere after the pizza earlier in the week but way before the Oreo’s, fruit and nut covered chocolate, my gross-and-too-sweet-eggnog-like-coconut-milk-honey concoction, and more than I share to confess. I started crawling the walls, got overly emotional, and doing this and that, I wrote to Haim today:

i’ve been in my room since i came home from treatment yesterday. i’m into being alone, letting like-vipassana all this shit come up in waves, as a spiritual sort of work. i’m eating carbs and masturbating online (not literally, yet, but wasting time for hours doing nothing, but i’m sure i’ll get to the porn and masturbating all day soon enough). 🙂

so, i’m going crazy in my room, climbing the walls, doing exercises, writing, this, that, meditating, ahhahahahahah!

if you and a-saf want to get together, that would be fun. i feel like crying and laughing, dancing and talking with people i vibrate with; and in equal amounts, i feel like being alone and continuing to feel depressingly lonely and enjoy the rawness and learning that comes from facing yourself.

So, Haim is a good friend already (and if you’re light of heart and can’t handle the absolute rawness of my writing, like in Fuck, Fuck, Fuck; please, excuse yourself now. I will understand.)



Being Social

Don’t want to be. Not really. I like the people at the clinic and I love a whole bunch of people here in Goa. Tons of people I dearly love, and yet, unless I’m teaching a class in which we’re vibrating together in that spiritual-growth-consciousness frequency, I just don’t feel the need/desire to be social and get together and laugh and enjoy their company. No, I do not think I am punishing myself. Just playing with alone, just pushing the concept of alone, growing, seeing, reflecting, doing, being alone to the outer edge.

I invited one woman to my house and she spent the entire time telling me that ‘serving in the Israeli army builds character’ is bullshit and then she chastised my Lauren 997 piece puzzle as something little kids do. I invited Sangita over once and we just head-bobbed and said hi to Kobi on Skype until I gave her an apple and she left, head bobbing. There are these two sisters I met in Dilara’s store the other day. I liked them but I don’t know exactly where they live and I don’t see myself wandering the streets, like I did today on the beach. I wandered.

I was social on the beach. I was!

I said ‘no, thank you ‘ to a woman who offered me a message, I followed the guy with the grey backpack, spoke (twice!) to an Israeli named Raz but ran away when his friends appears (too much social for me). I tried to bond with a sweet white dog with bleached spots but he was too busy with fleas and whatever else was drawing his attention on his left thigh.

I stood in awe and in love with a three-ish year old Indian boy who had this huge smile (and equally huge dark eyes) who squealed and jumped up and down in pure joy every time the waves approached his feet. I picked up three star-fish and threw them back in. I spoke (ever so briefly, but still) with the sunsetting sky.

I later spoke to my waiter to make my order of King fish and to say ‘thank you’ and I politely let the French man who sat down at my table know that I was not interested in continuing the discussion.

I did feel for him and I got it. I had also spent the last three hours looking for something, anything but to go back to my hole. Like Dostoevsky’s Mouse Hole, I felt the tainted snow outside and bitterly cursed at everyone outside of my throne. But I am not meant to be with the French guy. He too needs to find his own salvation in whatever way he finds it, probably, in some bar with someone looking for exactly him. Him, I am not seeking.

I am seeking, desperately, blessedly, rawly, openly, gratefully. I am.


Bone and Body Clinic and Emotional Updates





The Leopard:



Easy Week:

easy week


Oh the Misery- Going Insane, A Letter from Home Video

The Live YouTube Video Collection

You’ll actually get the entire story, more raw (if that’s earthly possible) on our YouTube channel where I pick up the camera and cry, hiss, and bitch more often. Though I’m slowly posting these videos on the blog as a vlog (because my back hurts, I can’t sit and write anymore, but I’ve always recorded my 1- 5 minute thoughts and reflections live).

The Nomadic Family YouTube channel has over 210,000 views. A video from somewhere around the globe goes live almost every day and they are in totally random order so you never know from when in the 3 1/2 year journey and from where on the globe we’ll be posting from. And on Mondays, The Nomadic Family Project Documentary Film Crew posts an always-entertaining, inspirational piece on the channel that we just wait for with bated breath.

The Nomadic Family YouTube channel really does have a powerfully active and TMI life of it’s own so if you like videos of women (me) crying and would like to hear the sweaty, smelly, beautiful, and breath-taking insights and truths from wherever we were around the globe, please subscribe. 🙂


For this one brings me great joy. Laughter rules!


Karen Wolf- what a genius that she made this up. Cheers to you dear Karen!

And so many old photos I found on Facebook bring me joy:







 Kobi Brings Me Joy

[And you can watch it live, crying and all, on the video above!]

And I wrote to Kobi how hard this is for me, and he wrote this:

so have fun. i love you so much.
last night, solai and I cuddled in bed for over an hour and had the best time ever!! we talked about you and how we both miss you a lot and how special she is. and she can come to me to talk about anything no matter what. she is so adorable.
our lives in israel are great… we have our amazing place with amazing kids and lifestyle that is priceless. the fact that we can allow you, financially and family, to let you go for that long is unheard of…
be well and know that in the most hard moment when it aches and you feel alone, sad, and missing us a bunch, we need you straight and healthy. so get well, get very well, and come back to us in one straight piece.  🙂 and use this time to do all the things you miss and love doing. like meditation, yoga, living food or whatever!!!!
we are here for you when you are done. the kids are doing great with me and you know that. we have hard moments when you are not here and when you are here as well.
yallah baby… talk later!!!


Forever Young

And then, a few hours later, he sent me this. Tell me, no, don’t tell me, I know how lucky I am. Good night.



(Bob Dylan)

May God bless and keep you always,
May your wishes all come true,
May you always do for others
And let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous,
May you grow up to be true,
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you.
May you always be courageous,
Stand upright and be strong,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy,
May your feet always be swift,
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift.
May your heart always be joyful,
May your song always be sung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

Read the entire Solo Healing Journey Adventure, loves.

First Evening Back in Goa- So Much Love- Part of the Nomadic Family Hits the Road Again, India

Utterly Broken- Day 1 Stretching Class, Solo Healing Journey, Canacona, India

Hate, Judgement & Wild Rashes- Unexpected Twists of Spiritual Healing Journies- India


We’d love to connect to you also on TwitterFacebookYouTube.


Insanely unorthodox, embarrassingly honest, and on her path towards spiritual awareness, Gabi Klaf blogs about her family’s ups and downs in their now third year of non-stop budget world travel. This family of five has lived with an indigenous tribe in the jungles of Ecuador, hitchhiked throughout the world, danced with drunk Vietnamese at weddings, and hiked the entire Annapurna Circuit trek with a documentary film crew in tow. Gabi writes about the untold sides of family travel life, those moments that take your breath away, adventures and mishaps while globetrotting, and how bits of her soul remain in this small town and off the side of that river. She is a guitar-stumming, energy-healing, ADHD wind-loving scaredy cat. Hugely romantic, tantalizingly sweet, and hysterically funny, Gabi Klaf represents a rare Rubik’s Cube of family world adventure.

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We’re out doing crazy stuff and making our dreams come true, every single one of them, and a few more that sort of flew into our mouths while we were smiling into the wind. Should you like what we are doing as a family, BUY AN EBOOK to support us, share this, tell any media source or local newspaper, leave a comment. Your footprint makes all the difference in the world friends. Gracias!

Gabi and Kobi, Dahnya, Orazi, and Solai

And, sweet new news loves:  In addition to parenting, family life and trauma therapy, Gabi is now offering Make Your Dreams Come True/We Wanna Travel But.. Coaching too. Engage with Gabi!


  1. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be somewhere alone for as long as you are. It would be nice in some ways, but hard in others (missing family etc.)

    Anyhow, I hope you get what you are hoping for from this time in India, hope they can fix your back (don’t know the details, but it sounds like that’s the main thing they are working on???)…

    Hang in there!

    • sheralyn dear. thank you for (again) taking the time to show that you care and that you are out there with me. 🙂 there is great joy in having 10-15 hours a time to myself with nothing i have to do and all the freedom in the world. it is cool. and yet, there is a space that hurts, that misses, that feels it is too much space and too much away. but i am here for one reason and in that purpose, i can choose to suffer to enjoy. i’m deciding now to enjoy and will write about that very soon. back and a list of other things and body systems that have crashed and suffer and are not working due to the back. i’m here. thank you dear one.


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