I Need A Vacation- When You Just Want Something Else, Somewhere Else, Somehow, and Now
Naked, I stood there waiting for the water to turn hot. It did turn brown, but it never turned hot. I went to the restroom and practically fell off when the loose toilet seat teetered. In my annoyance, I realized something. Something huge. I don’t want any more cold showers. I don’t want to brush my teeth, my face, my body, my dishes, nor my food with brown water. I don’t want to sleep in any more tarantula- infested attics, nor in dilapidated wooden shacks sweltering in heat and decorated with mosquitoes as thick as fog. I don’t want to share my bedroom with the neighbor’s cats who have taken the area under my kids’ bed for a litter pan. I don’t want sand flies, or drunk drugged people around me. I don’t want to hold the computer up just so to get internet and I don’t want to eat junky, starchy, white-floured processed foods because I can’t find or can’t afford the healthy alternatives. I don’t want breathe the stench of public toilets that make me vehemently gag. (I also don’t want any more kids fighting, bickering, complaining, or creating drama over thin air. That one may be harder to fix.)
I want a vacation. “A vacation inside of a vacation,” some would say. And that is totally true, and totally not. I’ll show you some vacations I found that made me drool, and then I’ll tell you what I do want in my life as a traveling family mom who wants to feel that she doesn’t have to compromise comfort any more.
The Perfection I Found
So I found this link showing the perfect family vacation. And I see the pearly-white smiling mom, and the dad, obviously adoring his beautiful wife. And I see the kids smiling and laughing and this lovely family unit cherishing each other, and yes, I want that. I’d buy that yesterday. On these vacations, mom and dad don’t spend three days in the sweltering heat trying to find the cheapest accommodation/flight tickets/life option. On these vacations, the family doesn’t get confused and lost trying to find North again. They also don’t wait for the cosmic dust to settle. They know who they are, where they live, what they are supposed to do tomorrow morning, and they are not living like a local with all the glitter and guck that comes with it. Oh, and the mom totally, but totally has no acne. I do.
Right now, in light of the brown water and a few other comforts of life I use to take for granted that continue to allude me, I want that vacation where everything is taken care of for me, and all that I need to do is pay, arrive, and enjoy. Yes, I’d like that very much.
We Do Vacation
Every few months Kobi and I take vacations away from the family. We go off alone to be wild or spiritual, to read books or to meet people and see what it feels like to get up when you want, and do what you wish all day without having to consider the feelings and needs of four other people.
Here are some vacations we’ve taken:
-To sell the car in Uraguay while we waited in Lima, Peru. It took two months. (It made really good sense at the time.)
– disappeared from morning to night when he did his
- Open Water Diving Course in Taganga, Colombia
- Advanced Open Water with Koh Rong Dive Center, Cambodia
- Dive Master with Savedra Dive Center in Panagsama Beach, Moalboal in the Philippines
– Two weeks Vippasana Meditation outside Battambang, Cambodia
– A week off to read books and swin in Otres Beach, Cambodia
-A weekend alone in Ica and Parakas, Peru
– Two weeks off outside of Battambang, Cambodia for my first Vipassana Meditation
– A week off chasing witches and healers on a crazy motorbike adventure with my friend Theresa on the island of Siquijor, Philippines
– Another two weeks off planned for January in India for my second Vippasana Meditation
We like time away from each other. It gives us the chance to be alone and reflect and be just for ourselves. We’ve always done this. Kobi went for a month to India years ago, Kobi always, always, always supported me when I’d come home with the next six month healing or therapy course I had to enroll in. Giving each other that space has always been beneficial for our relationship.
How We’ve Changed
When we started out, and for the first two years, off and on, we had al of these amazing living like a local experiences. We don’t see the point of going to a country and whizzing by click, click, click capturing shots of all the attractions and exhausting ourselves zipping from one spot to the next. It exhausts our wallets as well. We also don’t see the point of living so removed from the local culture that we don’t smell and touch and taste it. But (and this is a huge ‘but’), we’re tired of sub-standard hygiene and comfort. We’re tired of putting in so much effort to fulfil our basic humanness.
Yes, we’ve learned to live without a kitchen counter, a personal mode of transportation, a book shelf with soft-covered, ear-marked books, shelves to put our clothing on, and a desk with art supplies. Yes, we’ve lived joyous round-the-world family travel adventures and have loved (or learned from) every arrangement in our perpetual barefootness. We’ve loved our journey into around, and through The Ying Yang of Living Without. But now, yes now, we want a very calm, clean, comfortable corner to call home. We want our kids in a school we believe in that enriches their minds and fills their souls, and allows Kobi and I huge chunks of time alone. Yes, this we want.
A 1000 Piece Puzzle
So, we’ve picked Goa, India as our home for the next six to nine months. Depending on if we get another Indian visa when our six-month visa expires, we hope to settle down in Goa and put the kids in the Vidya Aranya School. I’m dreaming of the things that indicate for me the cosmic dust has gracefully settled. My current wish list for my life includes:
– Daily meditation and yoga
– Daily time to write and read things that deep inspire, engage, and teach me
– A blender for morning spinach, lettuce, and fruit shakes
– A kitchen counter for hold the blender and the wonderful healthy foods and salads I’ll be making my family
– And most of all, but really, truly, most of all, a 1000 piece puzzle of something magical like we had in Boquete, Panama where that puzzle was my private therapy, daily meditation, and the most serene, heart-warming long-term family bonding activity we’ve ever had. That puzzle, on that porch, at that cabana, in the pouring rain was awesome. I want a safe, quiet spot to do my 1000 piece puzzle.
Yes, this is what I want.
Do I ever really stop talking? Will I ever had last words? Not likely. Come on, even after I die this website or the Gabiklaf.com site may still be up. Even after I don’t speak, my books and lectures and videos have been scattered around the globe and the internet and maybe someone will engage in one. Even after I die, the sound of me singing my kids to sleep may linger in their hearts. And, what about me yaking away in my next life, or some other dimension that co-exists with ours?
So, friends. You basically will never get total silence from me. I’ll always have what to share, to reflect on, to complain about, to be grateful for. Always.
Tell me your thoughts about vacations and perfection, sweat and dust and family travel and the joys of being free to create and recreate our own realities. The code word could be ‘fairy dust’ for we haven’t talked about that or star dust in a while and I’m missing it.
Sending you so much deep and grateful love,