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Posted on Oct 1, 2013

60 Year Old Expats & Their 20 Year Old Filipino Girlfriends- Life on the Road Education- Philippines

60 Year Old Expats & Their 20 Year Old Filipino Girlfriends- Life on the Road Education- Philippines

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Anicca. Remember, I talk about that a lot, and use it even more. Anicca. I’m covered in about 20 throbbing mosquito bites from the calf down, trying in vain not to itch, asking the spaghetti to cook faster. Anicca. Drunk and Drugged is talking to me about his fantasy of marrying the 12 1/2 year cleaning woman’s daughter, how he needs someone to look after him when he’s old. Anicca. I don’t like drunk people babble. I know he’s a messenger here to teach me and that I should, but I feel like sticking my fingers in my ears and making loud sounds until he goes away. Anicca. He slurs, smiles, leans in too close, and whispers, “I’m waiting for her to come home at night.” “Who,” I ask him, “Who are you waiting for?” He cocks his head in thought, sweet smile on his smashed face, “I don’t know.”

And so is this what I am meant to learn? That none of us want to be alone, everyone wants someone at night to say that it’s OK, even (or especially)for the drunk guy. He says, ” I’ve lost millions for love. Millions.” I am manually forcing my discomfort aside, determined to learn whatever this messenger is here to teach.

I ask him, “Was it worth it?”

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“Yes, I suppose it was, ” and he keeps giving me the details of how he’ll wait another 5 years and then he can take her to take care of him. She smiles sweetly each time he approaches her. She is such a pretty young girl. Sweet smile. Long, dark hair. She’ll be one of those drop-dead gorgeous Filipino girls in her twenties.

He pets her hair and I feel the maternal need to protect her, to get her sweet innocence away from this sick-o. But is she innocent? And is he sick? Her mother is right across the street and yet she lets her daughter sit her day after day. But her mother must know. Doesn’t she want to guard her child from this pervert? Or is she ensuring her future? Is she giving her daughter what she can never provide for her herself? That is, until she gets pregnant.

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Wanna hear a not-funny Filipino joke?

How do you tell a Filipino girl is single?

Ready?

Think.

Here it comes.

Punch line.

She’s pregnant.

Yeah, I know, we’re playing a tune very much like in the Grandfathers Having Sex with Teenagers in Thailand, that made almost as much commotion as Why The Boston Marathon Tragedy Was a Wonderful Thing. I’m not judging. Damn it! At least I’m trying really hard not to. It just makes me uncomfortable. It does.

But the reality is that most marriages end in divorce. And one 65 year old expat with a 22 year old Filipino girlfriend explained it to Kobi like this:

As a sixty-something year old man, in my country, the best I can do is find a sixty year old woman with a huge stomach and sagging boobs, grown up children, and shitload of problems. Here, I get me a gorgeous twenty year old. I feed her, give her a place to sleep, and I’m in heaven. No strings attached, nothing complicated. I feel like I’m twenty again. She’s happy, I’m happy, everyone gets what they want.

So, break it loose for me. Tear it apart. Tell me how you see it for I stand open and ready to learn. I don’t know, neither would I ever assume that I know the one and only way to be happy in life. Kobi and I are a 6 months away from 20 years together. Is is easy? Always fun? Don’t we both sometimes wish we could click ‘refresh’ and see how exciting that could be? Yeah, I get it. I really do. Speak, but remember, if you get rude, I won’t publish your comment so save your breath. Let’s do this like curious, open-minded, investigating adults delving into some of the deeper issues, OK? Let’s take this as an invitation, an opportunity to become better people, yeah?

So many talks around here with our kids. Oh, the uncensored learning, almost as entertaining as Too Much Sex Talk in Chan Chan, Peru. On your marks. Get sets. Go!

The reason we stayed in the Philippines for two and a half month was solely because of Savedra Dive Center. They are responsible for Gabi becoming Advanced Open Water Certified, for Kobi earning his Dive Master, for our kids dancing underwater with sea turtles and for Kobi and I getting lost in waterfalls and avalanches of sardines. Because of Savedra Dive Center we laughed tons, Kobi drank more than he usually does, and we made and our kids made friends who will remain in our hearts forever. Should you plan a trip to Philippines and have any desire to dive, with all of our hearts, we recommend diving with a professional super-fun staff and high quality equipment at Savedra. We felt safe enough to put our kids underwater with Savedra and that just about says it all. And if you go, tell Lee that Gabi is always, always, always right and that he sucks! On the other hand, tell Hermann that he is a God. 🙂

 

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You are readingfamily travel blog, life on the road with kids, travel with kids, world travel with kids, world travel with children, the nomadic family, budget world travel, framily travel tips, RTW family travel, 2012 best travel blogs, family travel southeast asia with kids, famiy travel central america with children, family travel south america with kids, annapurna circuit with children, life on the road malaysia, rtw family travel, rtw family travel peru, rtw family travel cambodia, rtw family travel ecuador, rtw family travel panama, rtw family travel costa rica, rtw family travel colombia, rtw family travel vietnam, rtw family travel thailand, rtw family travel south east asia, life on the road RV, philippines, malaysia, rtw family travel nepal, rtw family travel india, ups and down on the road, spiritual travel, meditation and parenting, on the spiritual journey around the world, the nomadic family project documentary movie this now, in October 2013. I wrote this in the Philippines, but now are hiking the Annapurna Circuit with my family. We’re out doing crazy stuff and making our dreams come true, every single one of them, and a few more that sort of flew into our mouths while we were smiling into the wind. Should you like what we are doing as a family, BUY AN EBOOK to support us, share this, tell any media source or local newspaper, leave a comment. Your footprint makes all the difference in the world friends. Gracias!

Gabi and Kobi, Dahnya, Orazi, and Solai

 

 

 

47 Comments

  1. Hi my friend
    I enjoyed your article, with some interest and a lot of discomfort. I, unlike you, find it almost impossible not to judge. As a young girl I was hurt by much older men – and it was devastating, and continues to affect me in a variety of ways. I have a dear friend, who was in the Police Force with me, and he is living in Thailand. He is in his 50’s and she is in her late 20’s. We had a long chat the last time he was back (3 months ago) and I told him what my impression was of the whole Thai brides impression – as reported by various agencies/media over here. He explained that life over there is very difficult, and the families find it hard to make ends meet. There is the start if basic healthcare now – but the families are still happy for older men to marry their daughters – so that their daughters, and the family, are looked after financially. The lass my friend is marrying is very lucky – he is a real gem – but many others are not as lucky. I still feel very uncomfortable when young lassies are involved (under 21) – but there is nothing I can do, as far as I know. Part of being an adult is to realise the world has many unpleasant realities as well as amazing wonders.
    I wish you safe travels – you have a wonderful family – Kobi, and your lovely bairns – happy anniversary in 6 months time (incase I forget to say it then!!!) hehe
    Love and blessings, Wendy xx

  2. I think I want to barf. I can’t imagine my 11 year old daughter ending up with a 60 year old in a few years. Thanks for the post. Mike and I really discussed how people were going to look at our daughter while we were travelling. I’m a total momma bear when I see men eyeing my baby girl. I can’t wrap my head around it all. I’ve got lots of lessons to learn, i guess.

  3. makes me feel a little ill every time.

  4. I have struggled with this since I’ve been travelling; in Indonesia, Thailand and the Philippines I’ve seen young girls and boys with old, white, western men and it saddens me every time. However they want to frame it, these men are exploiting their economic advantage over other people in the worst way. My heart aches a bit every time I see such a young person in that situation; however much people will argue that they ‘chose’ this lifestyle, I can’t help feeling that young people should be with others of their own age. These men are stealing lives and souls; I’ve tried to see it from every angle but I still can’t find any justification for it.

    • The poor in the philippines stay poor. Does your “heart ache” to see this? Starving, no hope, sleeping on cement, no money for doctors? Do you shell out a nickel to help them? Instead your “heart aches” when you see and older man who sacrifices so much of his own financial security to get her out of the hole of poverty because he is an older man with a much younger woman? Is this what wrenches you heart? You want them to be with someone their age to live wretched lives with filipinos that leavce them pregnant and even poorer with no government support. This warms your heart?

      • thank you rudi. i’m listening. i try not to say right or wrong for what the hell do i know. it just made me sad. so does poverty? does this take them out of poverty and give both sides of the relationship something they appreciate? ok. i can accept that. and even if i didn’t, reality will keep being what it is without my opinion anyhow.

      • ok, got it thank you rudi. clearly my emotional response is stronger than the logical, logistical, realistic one. thank you for taking the time (like so many here) to show me another side to it. gabi

  5. Like you said, it’s really hard not to judge. One of my most memorable family trips was going to Pattaya, Thailand as a family. It definitely is not a family vacation spot at all, in case anyone is reading this. We stayed in one of the best hotels in the town and yet in the mornings for breakfast we would see multiple tables with an elder white guy with a young filipino girl. No conversations, no nothing, just eating, a few glances and smiles here and there.

    With that being said, there’s only so much I can judge. Those filipino girls probably don’t want to be in that position… but if that’s the way they can make money and get out of the cycle of poverty they’re in- then I can understand. I don’t like it, but I can understand.

    I am curious though, what did your kids think of it? Did they say anything?

  6. I’d love to hear some male perspective on this.
    I saw this here in the US. A man in his 60s with a young Philipino girl. He told me he loves living there and they are going back together. She seemed to love him and seemed happy. Life is weird and not always fair.
    That’s all I got.

  7. I think we as a sisterhood of women need to get together to remind each other that the answer is not in waiting for a man to whisk us away. I was recently talking to a friend who was upset because she wasn’t married. In that, I sensed she thought that would be the answer to all her problems. But the answer only lies within ourselves.

  8. I think it’s disgusting, and am repulsed by the exploitation of children. This is what it is, you know. While I appreciate your open mind and your nonjudgmental stance towards the world, there comes a point here it is unnatural not to judge somebody for their behavior. Does this mean you try not to judge people who sell children into sexual slavery? Where do you draw the line? Because what you are talking about here is the exploitation of children, of young girls.

  9. Thought I would add a male perspective. I’ll address a few comments (and common views on this) directly.

    Amy, if you have an issue with “westerners exploiting their economic advantage” I really hope you’ve given up travel to these countries. Mass western tourism far outweighs these scenarios in terms of “economic advantage”. You really think that $5 Thai massage is economically fair when it would cost $75 in the U.S? How about the dirt cheap rooms, food, and service? Economic advantage is the reason these countries see million of western tourist a year.

    Sonja, don’t go to Argentina, Chile, Thailand, or a host of other countries where men openly oggle young women. This is something that’s just a reality of traveling. Not saying it’s ok but it just is the way the world is.

    To the point. I ask, how many that “want to barf” or “are disgusted” when they see this say the same thing when they see a twenty something riding passenger around South Beach or Rodeo Drive in a Ferrari. Oh yeah, the driver happens to be her 60 year old “boyfriend”. It seems that we in western society tend to forget this is common place in our world as well. Hugh Hefner anyone?

    Relationships are inherently selfish. We like to pretend they aren’t but they are. We all get something from our significant others. So are just more honest about what that something is. We might get companionship, children, economic security, or good old fashioned sexual gratification. We all get something. As the man pointed out, he could never get a 20 year old in his home country. Why is that? I know plenty of 60 year old women that can’t get 20 year old men. Because you get older it doesn’t mean your taste change that much. I’m personally not attracted to older women so if I was pursued by one she would be spurned. Likewise in reverse.

    The reality is we project our western superiority complex on other countries. Even if we don’t openly acknowledge it we tend to carry ourselves with the belief that our way of life and views are correct. I personally leave it to individuals and countries to deem what is right and wrong in cases like this.

    I ask, are we viewing this as a form of prostitution?

  10. I struggle with this in Thailand but only when the age difference is so great. If it’s an age appropriate match I’ve got no problem with people finding love. The problem I have is that women from Thailand, Philippines etc look SO much younger than Western women anyway…. so while she might BE 20 she LOOKS 14. That makes me start to wonder what the motivation of the man is…. is he into her because he wants someone young and hot? Or is it because he’s after someone who LOOKS like they’re underage but actually isn’t?

  11. I think it’s sad that this is all these girls can do for a living, and I just feel sorry for them when I see them with an old man. Especially an old man who usually doesn’t seem to take care of himself at all. But I can’t really blame the women, as they probably see it as a way out of what is sometimes grinding poverty.

    I see this in Bangkok occasionally, although not very often. The situation will only resolve itself when the poorer countries of the world catch up economically. But even then, some women prefer this option of making a living. As long as there is supply and demand it will still happen.

  12. Oh, I am so not looking forward to this part of our upcoming adventures in SEA.

    • You won’t see it much at all unless you hang around in the “wrong” places.

      • Agree with Manfred. The places where this is prevalent are well documented. You largely won’t see it but from time to time you will. I caution you from passing judgement without knowing the parameters of the relationship. Seems people are making large assumptions without first hand knowledge.

        • erick. thank you for joining into this amazing discussion. i think you make amazing points in both of your comments. you are firm but respectful. thank you. that is exactly what we represent here- a space to share, grow, reflect, laugh our asses off, and learn. i don’t know, i don’t know, i don’t know. we’ve seen it in most places where expats gather, which is pretty much everywhere, but yes, mostly in SEA and near bars scenes. i think it’s great that you say not to pass judgement because, yes, we don’t know. i think we’re all just trying to figure things out, one step at a time. thank you erick. find us on fb will you? the minority nomad? cool! i’ll share it on fb, just ‘like’ us so i’ll see you. gabi

      • welcome to my life! 🙂

  13. My sister is with a man 25 years her senior, just a year or two younger than my parents. The need for love and companionship is a difficult thing to judge. We all want it and we all find it in different ways.

    • hi mary. thank you for sharing that. i am not judging, or i’m trying really hard to. i’ve been very lucky in my life to find a partner who helps me grow. you have too. i have seen beautiful unconventional love stories of 15, 20, and 40 year gaps where the man was older or (and i love these) the woman was older. i know that love doesn’t fit into whatever our preconceptions of ‘love’ should be. i think i struggle when i believe that a- kids are involved and that makes me sick and b- when both parties are not free to choose that this is what they want. otherwise, love does come in many colors. thank you mary.

  14. This has always been such a difficult issue for me.

    I think that the North American reflex is to flinch and turn away and think of older men and younger women as disgusting.

    Just a disclaimer here: I’m only talking in this comment about young women who are in their 20’s, so adults who are capable of making their own decision.

    I’ve spent time talking to some of these girls (mostly in Thailand), and asking their opinions, and they were very clear that they were getting something out of the agreement as well. Generally, it was something financial or about security. I was often left with the impression that, at least from the girls’ point of view, that they were the ones in charge of the relationship.

    I think it’s tempting to look at these arrangements as if the men are exploiting the girls, but honestly? I often found that it was a reciprocal arrangement, where both parties got something they wanted.

    • micki. i’ve missed seeing you in these parts and always, always love when you drop in. thank you. i do think everyone is getting something and that there are great advantages in both parties deal. still, like the situation i shared with the guy pruning the little girl to be his one day, it made me sooooo uncomfortable. drunked, drugged, and lost preying on her, i felt, was really, really not sitting well with me. i don’t know micki. none of us do. we’re all just living our own lives the best way we know how. i say, if everyone gets something they want, ok. i just want everyone to have a free choice to decide that this is what they choose. hugs to you dear, gabi

  15. Find it a little creepy in most cases, but I think it depends on the couple. People of different ages can depend on each other and form a relationship. Even if it isn’t love, it can still be a good thing. However, if the age gap gets too large then it’s f’d up no matter how you look at it.

    • hi tim. so nice to meet you. i’m so honored that this post is bringing to here such wonderful and new people from such great blogs. yours looks wonderful! yeah, i do too. i have know relationships with gaps of 20- 40 or more years that were beautiful and loving but not in the conventional way we see it. i have. i think it can be a good thing. still, sometimes you see it and you think you know that it’s not. again, i don’t know. that’s why i put it out there. thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. i hope you find us on fb and we can stay connected. gabi

  16. it is hard to imagine nobody getting hurt in this scenario. would a 20-yr-old woman really be genuinely interested in a 65-yr-old man? maybe. is it more likely that she sees his money as an escape? maybe. what does this teach people about the power of money? things like “i’ll do almost anything for the right amount of money” and “i can buy anything i want for the right amount of money” come to mind. i don’t like those kinds of conversations. i want to believe that there are more powerful currencies between people than money. things like this make believing that much harder.

    • hi anne. welcome to the blog. i’m honored to have you hear and so touched that you took the time to comment and share your thoughts. i don’t know. that’s the best i’ve got. i do believe there are much more powerful currencies in the world, like not wanting to be alone and feeling loved and being listened to and sharing in whatever terms that means, but sometimes, money is a huge factor. i know most of my life has been consumed with how much i have and how will i get more and the fears of not having. so, i get it. i think sometimes it could be great and sometimes not, but most of all, i appreciate the choices i have been free to make regarding my love life, i appreciate the respectful discussion and sharing we’re all doing here, and i appreciate the ‘more powerful currencies’ i see too. lots of love to you, gabi ps: find us on fb so we’ll stay connected.

  17. While such situations are superficially repulsive — and the arrogance of the 60-year-old drunken expat is revolting — I agree with Micki that something subtler is going on under the surface. As long as the 20-year-olds know what they’re doing when they go into these business arrangements, they have some control. Still, it would be great if life were such that the women they wouldn’t need to look upon such men as a way out.

  18. Gabi, you have brought light to an issue I never knew was there. I am still trying to take it in and digest. “I’m happy, she’s happy.” Really???? She is in survival mode while he is bathing in perversion. Then they leave them when they are pregnant??? This is another form of rape to me. I am disgusted.

  19. I think it’s really, really sad and these guys are disgusting. Not the girls, I’m cool with the girls, but these guys, they’re unable to find a woman the normal way so they do this buying a girlfriend thing…weird. BUT…I have a good friend, a few years older than me (50) who has a Filipino girlfriend. He visits her from the UK whenever he can afford to and wants to marry her but UK govt won’t let him import her and Fils govt won’t let him stay. They’ve been together a long time, years, and it works. But it still grosses me out 😛 . Did I mention that my husband is 11 years younger than me? So I’m not exactly normal either. Who is? But you asked what I thought so I told you!

    • For an older guy many woman his age are gross and ugly and look like public buidlings compared to a younger filapina women. So the choice is to give up being inspired by a woman’s beauty because this offends the sensibilities of gross and ugly women or not worry about it.

      • thank you for taking the time to share what you feel and to bring out another angle to this. life isn’t easy, is it? answers come in all sorts of forms and combinations. thank you for standing up and saying what you believe in. gabi

  20. And another thing…I have a friend, ame age as me, who loves older men, always has. Her boyfriend was extremely mature when she was just 18, now she lives with a gut at least 20 years older than her. I think people commenting that 20 year olds should be with 20 year olds is totally out of order. It’s often not the cae and not how life works at all.

  21. Have you considered the following:
    Perhaps the 60 year old man had a relatively loveless life.

    Perhaps he worked his entire life for a thankless family, a wife who verbally abused him, kids that disrespected him… who knows..

    He goes to one of these countries and meets a lovely young woman that appears (in his mind) to truly love and care about him. She cooks for him, cleans for him, kisses him passionately, tells him how wonderful he is, makes love to him.

    For her, she sees a kindly old man that adores her. SHe knows that he will not live long, but that he will care for her even after he has gone. He gives her life hope.

    For him, he knows he will soon be gone, but now he is in bliss. For the first time in his life he feels he is loved and cared for. She makes him feel young again even though he knows he will soon be gone. He knows she will grieve for him when he is gone.

    For her, he leaves her everything. For him, she gave him everything he ever wanted.

    Don’t prejudge these relationships! They are not all “bad”. It is life. Over the centuries old men have had young brides. It is not a recent phenomenon and I, for one, do not blame these people for choosing a very mutually beneficial relationship!

    • thank you joe. i don’t mean to judge. i don’t. it makes me feel strange and i did say that there may be good in all of it, all of it, all of it. i think what you described is beautiful and both parties gain so much, but often, i don’t think this is what happens there, but again, i don’t know. thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and to so respectfully bring a side that perhaps we wouldn’t see otherwise. i bless all of the 60-20 year old love affairs with what you have said- that they are both caring for each other. thank you. gabi

  22. So many posts commented with judge, exploitation, age appropriate, even disgusted…

    It’s a relationship, May December perhaps but a relationship none the less. Oh they didn’t choose it, or would of otherwise if they could. Really? In the Philippines this is common among themselves. In the Philippines most women carry most of the weight, they marry, have babies and are usually the sole provider. Men stay home, hang out with their buddies and even chase skirts. So I guess all you that don’t agree with this will be on the next plane to the Philippines to change their culture as well. And in the states, and in many countries as well women who are well off, will marry a much older guy for the security of wealth.
    Too young? My great grandmother was poping out kids at 13 and she had 6 of them, of course the average life span was around 40 then. But the point being that a person is a women biologically at her first menstruation. You might protest that its too young, but that is just an emotional response. If it were up to me my daughter would not be allowed to date until I’m dead! Said in jest, but with a tinge of truth. No parent is comfortable that his kid is having sex at any age.
    Most marriages before the past 50 years were arranged. The man was usually much older. And the woman got security in return. It was an old balance that served for centuries, but now with our modern ways, and divorce rate higher than 50% we know better? Age appropriate mates were never the norm before. And most men will always prefer someone much younger. Its programmed into the species.
    Its not for us to judge, and don’t be so quick to judge.
    i am 50 years of age and was recently walking on a boardwalk at an amusement park, I had a 19 yr old Asian girl holding on to my arm and smiling, with some stuffed animals that I had won for her. OMG the dirty looks I was getting from OLDER women. Finally I couldn’t take take it anymore. I told her not to hold on to my arm, but she said no. Why should I? She asked? And indeed why should she, since she has been my adopted daughter for close to 18 years. And yes I am Asian as well.

    • thank you dear adam. you give me much to smile about and think about at 2 am this night. thank you for your heart-felt response and for taking the time to share. thank you. and yes, there are no rules i guess. everyone should roll the way it works and who really knows what is ‘right’ when actually there is no right, as you’ve so nicely pointed out. i’ll tell you if i see a change in me the next time i meet it, and smiles and hugs for you and your adopted daughter. may december was beautifully put. gabi

  23. I married my Filipino wife when she was 27 and I was 47. We have been married 7 years now and both very happy here in the U.S.A. People still assume she is 19 years old even though she is 32 and people swear she is a model from the Philippines. That’s one of the attractions for me. My wife will never look old, always look young, slim sexy body,no fat stomach or sagging boobs or butt, and I think this makes western woman hate that and make nasty comments about these relationships. My wife when I met her was not a bar girl, did not work or live in the city. She had a job at a bank, her family had money and she is honest, faithful, and a god fearing catholic girl. When people talk about these relationships they all assume from what I read is they are all bar girls, or prostitutes. A majority of Filipino girls are just normal girls. In their culture marrying a older man is always better. It’s not always to do with getting out of poverty. They marry older Filipinos too. It’s their beliefs and culture that western woman do not understand. In fact it’s an Asian culture that is all the same. I was divorced twice by American woman.They took my houses kids dogs. And the last one I caught in bed with her lover in my own bed. So i swore never to marry a American woman again. In Asian cultures, most woman do not believe in divorce, are 100% dedicated and faithful to their husbands for life. Love him, take care of him, cook always for him and his best friend. I’ve never been so happy my whole life. Something American girls can’t promise and fulfill.

    • so deeply happy for you jim. like i said and the comment thread where so many people have spoken, happiness and love and age have nothing logical about it. i’m sure you guys are so very happy and i apologize if i created any offense. it’s just hard, still, sometimes when things don’t seem ‘right’. i wish i knew how to explain it better. thank you for taking the time to comment jim. may you and your lovely wife be forever happy. gabi

  24. I have read this thread with a great deal of interest. I agree with many of the comments concerning love and companionship. As an older widower I have recently met a younger woman currently working as a nanny in Kuwait. We seem to get along very well and I admit I have been bothered to our age difference. I find it hard to believe she could be truly interested in an older man like me. I have gained a lot of insight about the values of Filipino women compared to the American women I meet daily. I want to thank Jim for his thoughtful insights concerning his experiences and Asian women. I will proceed with caution but a much better understanding thanks to everyone’s comments.

    • michael. i am so glad that you could find inspiration here and some guides on your way. jim’s comment was great. i will email him your thoughts so that he can continue to share and discuss with you, if you would like. i am so happy for you that you are finding happiness and that you are using your heart and your mind in discovering what may be right. i am convinced that love comes in all forms, also those that don’t fit into our little pigeon holes of what is right and what is wrong in our trained societal norms. i wish you great luck on this adventure in love and i would love to hear updates from your life and progress with the lovely young nanny in Kuwait. and yes, i’m sure you have so much beautiful and mature love and light to share that your lady sees your halo. good luck, keep me posted. gabi

  25. I have looked at the coments and stories,I am still extremely fit and active,but now I am very concerned.I have met a Phillipine woman of 35 who says she is madly in love with me,and I must admit I feel the same way about her.However I think age gap is simply too much I am 77 some 42 years older.Yet we have still made plans for the future.I do not have any money,she says I do not want money,I would live in a shed to be with you.What can I say to her.I do as I not wish to upset her,or end our relationship.

    • norman. you are beautiful and very lucky. i am so deeply happy that you have found someone who wants to be with you, even in a shack and doesn’t want you for your money. if you love her, how dare you change your mind because of anything anyone has said. life’s an adventure no? enjoy yourself, enjoying feeling like your 30 again, enjoy every day with this woman who loves you. who knows what tomorrow will bring to any of us. sounds like you are in a beautiful space. breathe and don’t look anywhere else or for anyone else to tell you what is right for you. if you close your eyes and it feels good inside, go for it! thank you for sharing and please let me know how things go with you and your young beautiful filipino love. hugs, gabi

    • Seriously, yuck. Let her find someone she can have an actual life with.

      • not so easy to do i guess when almost all the women around you are single moms…. not easy for us, the concept of not marrying someone we love who is similar to our age, our generation…. security gets a whole nother definition from their world. yuck and hard to grasp and not yuck i guess. i’m still feeling strongly both.

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