60 Year Old Expats & Their 20 Year Old Filipino Girlfriends- Life on the Road Education- Philippines
Anicca. Remember, I talk about that a lot, and use it even more. Anicca. I’m covered in about 20 throbbing mosquito bites from the calf down, trying in vain not to itch, asking the spaghetti to cook faster. Anicca. Drunk and Drugged is talking to me about his fantasy of marrying the 12 1/2 year cleaning woman’s daughter, how he needs someone to look after him when he’s old. Anicca. I don’t like drunk people babble. I know he’s a messenger here to teach me and that I should, but I feel like sticking my fingers in my ears and making loud sounds until he goes away. Anicca. He slurs, smiles, leans in too close, and whispers, “I’m waiting for her to come home at night.” “Who,” I ask him, “Who are you waiting for?” He cocks his head in thought, sweet smile on his smashed face, “I don’t know.”
And so is this what I am meant to learn? That none of us want to be alone, everyone wants someone at night to say that it’s OK, even (or especially)for the drunk guy. He says, ” I’ve lost millions for love. Millions.” I am manually forcing my discomfort aside, determined to learn whatever this messenger is here to teach.
I ask him, “Was it worth it?”
“Yes, I suppose it was, ” and he keeps giving me the details of how he’ll wait another 5 years and then he can take her to take care of him. She smiles sweetly each time he approaches her. She is such a pretty young girl. Sweet smile. Long, dark hair. She’ll be one of those drop-dead gorgeous Filipino girls in her twenties.
He pets her hair and I feel the maternal need to protect her, to get her sweet innocence away from this sick-o. But is she innocent? And is he sick? Her mother is right across the street and yet she lets her daughter sit her day after day. But her mother must know. Doesn’t she want to guard her child from this pervert? Or is she ensuring her future? Is she giving her daughter what she can never provide for her herself? That is, until she gets pregnant.
Wanna hear a not-funny Filipino joke?
How do you tell a Filipino girl is single?
Here it comes.
Yeah, I know, we’re playing a tune very much like in the Grandfathers Having Sex with Teenagers in Thailand, that made almost as much commotion as Why The Boston Marathon Tragedy Was a Wonderful Thing. I’m not judging. Damn it! At least I’m trying really hard not to. It just makes me uncomfortable. It does.
But the reality is that most marriages end in divorce. And one 65 year old expat with a 22 year old Filipino girlfriend explained it to Kobi like this:
As a sixty-something year old man, in my country, the best I can do is find a sixty year old woman with a huge stomach and sagging boobs, grown up children, and shitload of problems. Here, I get me a gorgeous twenty year old. I feed her, give her a place to sleep, and I’m in heaven. No strings attached, nothing complicated. I feel like I’m twenty again. She’s happy, I’m happy, everyone gets what they want.
So, break it loose for me. Tear it apart. Tell me how you see it for I stand open and ready to learn. I don’t know, neither would I ever assume that I know the one and only way to be happy in life. Kobi and I are a 6 months away from 20 years together. Is is easy? Always fun? Don’t we both sometimes wish we could click ‘refresh’ and see how exciting that could be? Yeah, I get it. I really do. Speak, but remember, if you get rude, I won’t publish your comment so save your breath. Let’s do this like curious, open-minded, investigating adults delving into some of the deeper issues, OK? Let’s take this as an invitation, an opportunity to become better people, yeah?
So many talks around here with our kids. Oh, the uncensored learning, almost as entertaining as Too Much Sex Talk in Chan Chan, Peru. On your marks. Get sets. Go!
The reason we stayed in the Philippines for two and a half month was solely because of Savedra Dive Center. They are responsible for Gabi becoming Advanced Open Water Certified, for Kobi earning his Dive Master, for our kids dancing underwater with sea turtles and for Kobi and I getting lost in waterfalls and avalanches of sardines. Because of Savedra Dive Center we laughed tons, Kobi drank more than he usually does, and we made and our kids made friends who will remain in our hearts forever. Should you plan a trip to Philippines and have any desire to dive, with all of our hearts, we recommend diving with a professional super-fun staff and high quality equipment at Savedra. We felt safe enough to put our kids underwater with Savedra and that just about says it all. And if you go, tell Lee that Gabi is always, always, always right and that he sucks! On the other hand, tell Hermann that he is a God. 🙂
You are reading this now, in October 2013. I wrote this in the Philippines, but now are hiking the Annapurna Circuit with my family. We’re out doing crazy stuff and making our dreams come true, every single one of them, and a few more that sort of flew into our mouths while we were smiling into the wind. Should you like what we are doing as a family, BUY AN EBOOK to support us, share this, tell any media source or local newspaper, leave a comment. Your footprint makes all the difference in the world friends. Gracias!
Gabi and Kobi, Dahnya, Orazi, and Solai