Mistakes That You Can’t Take Back, Or Can You? RTW Life Lessons- Philippines
It is not easy to clean up our messes. No, I didn’t run over someone because I leaned over to grab my cell phone or any sort of one-second-changed-everything sort of moment. No, thank God, we are all healthy and glowing, diving with turtles at Savedra Dive Center (great FB video) in the Philippines and loving that our kids have such a vibrant social network. We even love it that the kids here call you a baby if you cry and steal playing cards when you’re not watching. These Filipino kids are giving our three a Doctorate in Street Smarts that they just wouldn’t get elsewhere. Toughening them up, watching them get cheated, and then learn how not let that happen again, has been rewarding. It’s amazing how fast you can learn when you’re motivated, eh?
And we’re learning too. Learning that a lifetime reputation, which you built with so much care and vulnerability, can be crumbled in moments. We’re learning that what seems like a great idea, and still may be, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a great idea for you. When we made aliyah (moved back to Israel) in 2004, we sat in that little second-story office in the immigrant assimilation department. Yoav, or some name close to that, told us, “Just because you are granted certain rights and privelged as a new immigrant, doesn’t mean you should take them. You may be offered an incentive that will end of being a far greater headache to you than it is an asset. Choose carefully which priveldges you redeem.”
I didn’t get it then, but I get it now.
Was This The Nomadic Family Way?
Tons of people use crowd fundraising sites to “build my broken boat”, “make my wish come true to see the Eiffel Tower”, or “bring this soldier home to see his newborn daughter”. They are all great dreams, and some of them, get great funding. After months on the sponsorship treadmill didn’t work, we moved on to the next obvious option. But no, we didn’t stop to think of Yoav’s wisdom, that just because you have this right, should you cash it in? Will it bring you more headache or asset? Will the means justify the ends? Is this in line with the legacy of managing your money and making your dreams come true in your own terms? Is this The Nomadic Family way?
An unreal number of bloggers stood forward and said heart-warming things like, “I trust you and will follow and support you in any endeavor you pursue” and “Our team believes in your so much that we’ll publish this article on your behalf though our magazine/site has never done this kind of promotion for anyone before” and more. I wanted to share their specific words, the authors, and links to their site, but Kobi felt that that would be me hiding behind them as my shield of righteousness. This is not my intention and thus, I won’t. There are others who voiced that they didn’t think this was such a great idea.
A Letter to Friends
This is what I mailed to our dear travel blogger friends and media partners. I feel it says it best, and thus, I wanted you to see it:
we are canceling the campaign for it is not right for us, it’s not who we are. we freaked out when we did the online research and saw how much gear and the rest would cost. we suddenly realized we committed to do this thing that was really, really expensive. we ditched out of australia and other expensive things and suddenly felt like we would get the money we needed in this new and exciting way. and then, to make a long story short…
no. it’s not us. we always make it work with what we have, we work harder, we save here and spend more there and that’s what we’ll do. we’ll make it work as is or we’ll write a great blog post about how we turned around cuz we couldn’t go on.
we’re always so excited to try new things, but this, this is not us, so, we’re turning it off.
fundraising is not the nomadic family way. thank you for loving us. cannot tell you how much you mean to us, your support, your honest, your being our friends and loving us when we make great choices and when we mess up. that, that, that is what real friends is about.
You Gotta Deal
So that’s about it. I didn’t want to have to deal with this. But, I am. I am. All the ricochets, all the readers, fans, followers, and friends who may no longer visit here and get to read my awakening to what was not us. This detour has it’s price, but like everything else we do in life, we try new things, we make mistakes, we try new things again, we learn who we are and who we don’t want to be.
My lower back has been killing me for the past two weeks. Sitting, sleeping, standing, walking, but especially sneezing is so painful. Still is.
In my healing world, lower back represents the root chakra, the one that grounds us and tells us we have all of our most basic means met, and that we are safe. It is also the number one indicator when I’m working with a client that there are so very volitile money issues going on. Yeah, I hear ya. Yoga-extraordinaire and dearest sista Lauren Ohayon told me my psoas muscle is having spasms:
“the psoas is the deepest muscle in the body. attaches from the spine to the legs! the only muscle that does that. it has the lumbar plexus in it so the nervous system is deeply woven into this muscle. the psoas is the flight or fight muscle. it gets ramped up when we are in a heightened state, trauma, anger, etc. it is THE emotions muscle. because it attaches from spine to legs, the tightness that happens in it creates problems in the pelvis, hips, legs and back. based on your state right now, and the posture i have seen you prefer, my guess is that you have chronically short psoas and now it is in a full on temper tantrum.”
She knows me very, very well. She says I need to talk to my muscle, relax it, release the emotional turmoil that’s freaking him out. She said, if i lay down and do it just right, I may feel him spasming, and I did, last night. When I lay on my back just so, and was very still, I could feel my abs shaking from the vibrations. Poor dear, I’ve upset him so much, he’s breaking down on me, covering in the corner crying and at times, having a full fledged freak out.
Cleaning Up Messes
Like that open can of full tuna I flicked into the air last week, I’m trying to mend up this mess and move on. I want to roll and flow like a water nymph again.
I’m working on diving 4 times a week with Savedra so that I can hang out with my friends the turtles [movie link from above in case you didn’t watch it it’s really nice] and those walls of tens of thousands of sardines dance before you until you don’t exist. Underwater is a great therapy for me. Not only am I facing my lifelong fear of open water (fuck Jaws!), but I’m learning stillness, oneness, single mindedness. Diving is a heavenly practice grounds for being in the moment. You have to breathe and can literally see the air bubbles reflecting how slow and calm brings you to the moment. You must be conscious of your bouyancy, your fins, what gifts and joys are swimming around you and then gone. “Be in the moment, Gabi. That’s all you have dear. This moment, and this one, and this one. “
Thank you for letting me clean that. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Is this a mistake that can be mended? Any use thinking of those who will never come back or see us the same again? Anything else. Be nice or I won’t publish you. That’s the rule around here. And when I’m vulnerable and put myself out there like this, it’s exponentially so. 🙂
We’ve written a highly inspirational e-book about money and how you can take these ten steps to make your travel dreams come true. It has helped many and helps us continue our travel dreams. I do hope you will consider spending the $8 and learning/ be reminded of what you can do, starting today, to make your family world travel dreams come true. You can do it too friends. You can. You can.
Thank you dearly,
Gabi, Kobi, Solai, Dahnya, and Orazi