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Posted on Nov 3, 2012

Top Ten Reasons I Didn’t Want To Go

Top Ten Reasons I Didn’t Want To Go

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Been digging up some very old writing from way back when I still had a kitchen counter. I read it now and I empathize with the woman over there, holding onto her laundry rack in the backyard like it was Mother Mary herself. That woman, she was scared a lot; this woman, she is too. She’s replaced old fears with new ones, she laughs fearlessly into the echo of what used to scare the shit out of her, but still manages to come up with new, exciting ways to freak herself out.

Yes, I’m better. so much so that I now fully know that if I were to lose everything I own (which means so very little to me these days) and everyone I love (which really comes down mainly to the five people in this one-room in Siem Reap, myself included), I’d be OK. I’m not tempting fate or saying I won’t crumble, but I now know that no matter what happens in my life, who comes and who goes, no matter how hard it may be, I can do anything, and that God wouldn’t give me anything that’s too hard for me to handle.

And so, I’ll be picking up these old posts about the fears and doubts I had in the planning stages almost two years ago. It’s fun to revisit them, and put them on the table before you. Got any fears that drill into your mind every night? Do share.


  1. Gabi, love this – I think it’s so important to look back and honor that person that we used to be!

  2. Oh I know when I look back in 12 months, all these stresses of selling our business, selling our stuff and feeling vulnerable will have all disappeared. I guess we wouldn’t be human if we weren’t shaken just a little by leaving our “normal” lives behind to undertake something different and a little bit crazy that doesn’t quite fit in to society’s expectations. No matter my fears I trust in the universe and what she will provide us, it’s amazing how when you do that, things just seem to happen and lead you to where you are meant to be xx

  3. Gabi – You were where I am. I will be where you are. We are not alone. Thank you!! 🙂 pj

    • thanks pj. so glad you said that. we’re all normal for freaking out, right? tell me how you found us friend, and yes, i’m with you too. lots of love – gabi

  4. Thanks Gabi

    We are 25 days off starting our own travels and your list sums up exactly how I’m feeling, and gives me hope that it will all be ok

    • oh my dearest jen. you are soooo welcome. i know! isn’t it maddening how your mind freaks out about leaving. i can’t believe you guys leave in 25 days. so nerve wrecking and exciting. how old are the kids? how many? where do you plan to go? for how long? wow. if you have a fb page or blog let me know on fb (the nomadic family) and i’ll tell the world. can’t wait to see how it goes for you. soooo exciting. and tell me jen, how did you find me. oh, and thank you a million for leaving a comment, it means the world to me to know that people are reading that it resonants with their soul. hugs to you, gabi

      • HI Gabi,
        thanks so much for your lovely reply and for your blog which I have been really enjoying, I’m impressed by your honesty and courage in telling it like it really is.
        I’m feeling pretty calm about the whole travel thing at the moment which is great, I just have an ever-growing list of things that need to be done, and feel like don’t have to energy to do other important things like spending time connecting with friends. But I’m ready to get away. We live in Australia in a beautiful country town with a very supportive community and wonderful extended family, so it does feel a little indulgent to go travelling when we have so much here.

        As our girls are still young (5&6) we are going to spend the first year camping in Australia and then head to SE Asia after that (any suggestions on where would be the best place to start?). Then who knows, my six year old really wants to go to India and my husband is keen to return to South America….we dont really have a timeframe but might need to work along the way, my husband is a teacher so thats handy.

        We have just started a blog for family and friends but its only 3 days old so not very interesting yet. I have liked you on FB but will leave a message too.
        I found your blog through internet searches for families travelling and homeschooling, I was following the Edventure Project and was looking for similar like-minded travellers.
        Hope to talk soon

        • hi jen. what a joy to get your response. what a true joy! jenn miller and her family are amazing. i see myself as very similiar to jenn to many ways, only i’m e-rated and tasteless and don’t have the control and grace and limits that she has. 🙂 she is highly inspirational. yes, there are more of us but very very very few raw nomads. most take a year off maybe or are expats in another country, but nomads, only a handful really.

          thanks for the ‘honesty and courage in telling it like it really is’. i pride myself a lot for that and i think that humor and vulnerability make people trust me and get close, and i am deeply honored and grateful for that intimacy. so tahnk you.

          can’t wait to hear how it goes. you’ll go where the wind and inspirational takes you, i hope. the best route. your girls are an adorable age! how exciting and fun for you. we’re dying to do australia or new zealand but it’s waaaay beyond our budget. i will be honored to see your blog when you are ready to share. and i bet it is interesting. i’m waiting to see it. thank you and don’t freak out when you freak out, cuz if you don’t, then, i will begin to worry. hugs to you jen. gabi


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