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Posted on Jul 17, 2012

Seriously, What The Hell Are We Doing?

Seriously, What The Hell Are We Doing?

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In May, we left South America for South East Asia.

It’s that time again. That time to say “what? why? who? and why? why? why?” Seriously, what the hell are we doing? It takes a lot of energy to be an explorer, wanderer, traveler, adventurer. And, believe me, I love those titles. What, that’s me? Explorer, wanderer, traveler, adventurer? Fuckin cool! Really, fucking amazing; but sometimes, you just go, “stop! nothing new! no more discovery! i just want to be lazy and rot for a while…”

Is that so bad to just want to do nothing for extended periods of time? Am I really that weak-hearted that I get scared/nervous/unsure every time we make a huge leap? Is it possibly something natural/normal/sane for a person to not want life shaken up all the time/ to fear change?

Yes, I know most of us wish for change, a shift in the routine, some spice, something different; and yes, I know that we’ve found a good balance between running around and doing touristy things all day and establishing normal life in each place anew. We have balance, we do. We settle down, educate our kids, exercise, create time pockets for ourselves, meet new people, volunteer/travel/explore and all. But, right now, right now, I’m again at the brink of uncertainty and facing it, makes me dizzy. Very dizzy.

Thank God, thank God, thank God there is Rumi. He’s always there, with me. Too bad he died like 400 years ago, cuz I would totally do him!

In that kind of a mood again. That mood where I write whatever enters my mind, that mood that is befitting to be smoking something and hanging out, that mood that always makes me wonder if I’ll regret this post later. Takes me back to Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. I like this mood.

And I like this movie for in it, I touch that spiritual path, that never-ending journey that life on the road, at home,  or on the moon won’t let you avoid. And so, after three days of abusing myself and escaping, I grab The Artist’s Rule and face it, head on, and go within.

Have you ever been about to face something a bit bigger than you, something too much for you to handle; and instead of facing it, productively, you tried with all your might to escape it? What do you do ill-willed to yourself when you’re not yet ready to deal? (I eat, sleep, and act ugly to my family). Did you eventually, “Come, yet again, come, come” as you were, as you were “even if you’ve broken your vows a hundred times”.  Remember always, “ours is not a caravan of dispair”.

God, I love Rumi! God, I love observing myself and learning! Anyhow, would love your thoughts. Ramble away. I do.

Love you fully. So, connect with us. Your footprints mean the world to me. And you know what would help us sooo much? If you can click Share with friends on FaceBook. We are working hard to get 500 likes by the end of July. Can you help us out?

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  1. I am not sure who Rumi is? Haha please elaborate because he sounds awesome!
    I must admit a little trepidation when we leave each place, even though we haven’t been to any bad places, a little part of me loves the familiarity, even if we have only been there 2 days!
    We have a new rule which is to try and stay at least 4-7 days in any place. It means that we are slower going than we had planned but necessary for a little sanity!
    Enjoy the mood!

    • Serena. God, sorry, i just found your comment and two other comments of love hidden in this post that i loved so much. i don’t enjoy always being the new kid in town, always being the stranger discovering new. we travel soooo much slower than you guys. for example, right now in siem reap, in the same place for like 3 months+. funny how we all stay sane differently. yes, like you, i love having some familiar in my life, even as we backpack the globe.

      and rumi, google rumi quotes and write me back. surely your next tattoo will come from him. he actually did say, “you were born with wings, why prefer you to crawl through life”. makes me think of your tattoo. unfortunately, rumi died like hundreds of years ago. i’ll wait, i’ll get him next time. hugs, gabi

  2. Hahaha. Cambodia was the only place I have felt like this. It was as if we constantly had to be “on our game”. Or maybe it was just because we were sick and sunburned while we were there!!

    • i know tracey. we adore cambodia! their prolonged smile, their joy, and kindness. love this place. glad you felt their magic too. sick, sunburned, dehydrated, depressed, anything else you’d like to share dear? love you. where are you now? gabi

  3. Oh how I know those moments, you are on the brink of discovery when your body and mind is racked with pain. It is a way of telling you to turn around and change what you are doing every so briefly and rest. Ask for the next step and the answer will come, either quickly or not, yet it will come. Usually no where in the way you thought!

    When these moments come, ask yourself the ‘Rocking Chair’ question.
    You are sitting in your rocking chair late in age reflecting back on your life. Would you regret not taking that leap through fear or would you regret playing safe? It is the best way to solve the issues.

    This helps me when faced with decisions. ha ha ha I may not be able to do it at the time, yet it may come at another time.

    You are brave by just doing what your heart is directing you to do.

    Love Lexa xxx

    • Lexa, oh lexa. i love it.
      yes, it tells you the answer, if you can be quiet enough to listen. which often i’m not. and here, the rocking chair says move on but sometimes i don’t want to listen. leaving latin america after calling it home for a year was really a big leap for me. i haven’t spoken almost a word of spanish in three months- seems inconceivable. rocking chair- i love that. i have zero regrets lexa dear. thank you for being there lexa. i love our new, very-ancient connection. gabi


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