Don’t Buy A Zoo; Do Fart
fuck. we’re meeting the king of cambodia in four short hours and guess who is totally sleepless. honored- oh my god totally. excited- yes. just dealing with stuff that’s come up- old stuff, soul stuff, longing and attachment to desires/pain/fear sort of stuff. fell asleep almost… well no, sweet kobi feel asleep with his manly gentle hand holding my face. i’m lying there crying. just saw ‘i bought a zoo’ and all this stuff is coming up. all of it bam, whoosh, in my face.
vipasana means ‘what is’ seeing reality for what it is… and so as i emotionally prepare for my sept 11 vipasana in battabang (like four hours from here by bus), i know each thing along the way is an opportunity to look into vipasana which can lead me to nirvana (the ultimate peace and enlightenment. and my way there is my’ dharma’.
see, yesterday we attended our first monk chat and it was divine. it brought out a lot of things i’ve been reading about. put things in perfect order. i needed to hear Rem Rann talk, his sweet modest smile, his way of being, his robe, his essence to give all that theory a place in my soul.
so now, i’m going to www.gabiklaf.com to write about it. cuz so much is coming up and if i don’t become a witness to it, i lose what i may gain from that deeper, detached insight AND i lose the small chance that i will fall asleep before meeting the king of cambodia tomorrow.
so much going on. such unreal blessings. no wonder i can’t sleep. can the soul sleep when he is skipping towards enlightenment? can the soul sleep when he is finally awakening to himself?
i’ll let you know when the article is up in gabiklaf.com. then, maybe i’ll know more.
you see a few things are happening here.
a- i’ve copied and pasted a facebook update straight into the blog (which explains the all lower-case cuz i love all lower case. it suits me to to have to capitalize words cuz someone said so)
b- i’m started to separate traveling gabi (who is spiritual) and spiritual gabi (who is traveling) and though they are so one in the same, i want to give gabiklaf.com a home. a real home where all of that spirituality can shamelessly come out. i’ve talked about hiding it before, cuz i don’t want to be ‘weird’. so, now this is one of the first times i have this burst to write and my soul says, ‘stop. don’t go to the nomadic family like it is your custom. [editor’s note: but look, she’s here anyway]. go to gabiklaf.com and write it from the spiritual side’.
so i’m off to do just that. my head is killing me. maybe it’s the ant soup we ate today (suprisingly delish) or more likely it’s me crying my eyes out at 3 am. ah, life is life la la la la la. la la la life. la la la la la
oh, and that god damn cockroach that just ran over my right leg which caused me to SCREAM and wake everyone up, was so uncool. so grossly uncool.
so, you know i deserve a comment. about the king of cambodia or my soul awakening to itself or ant soup. there is so much to choose from. or how you liked the movie ‘i bought a zoo’. i was suprised how old matt damon looked. isn’t he supposed to like stay a twenty year old hottie? he was fine and all but can’t he just stay the way he looked when he said ‘how you like them apples?” i’m not growing any older, why should he?
so comment. you love me. i’m worth it. and you know you have stuff to say…. oh my, someone in the room just farted. we won’t disclose that kind of personal information, but it was too cute. it just sorta went ‘boom boom’ in a almost-alto sort of way. did you know your family members fart in their sleep. ah, you see the advantages of staying up all night. if you comment about the fart, i’ll know you read this entry until the end.
oh my head is pounding. need. water. now.